The President's Blog

Hi Everybody. It is almost New Years, and I already started drinking! Laura is out shopping in Paris with the girls, and won't be home until later tonight, so I have all day. Don said he and Condi might swing by later for a few drinks, but right now I have whiskey in one hand and a PBR in the other! YEEEE HAAA! God, I love Texas, even when I'm not there.
I have been kind of bad about this blogging business, but I have been really drunk this week. Yesterday I woke up in the Oval Office underneith the desk, and Paul stopped by telling me next years plans for Iraq, and I finally was just like, "Paul, I trust you guys to figure this out with Donald and that ol'Chalabi Shish-kababi, so Really..." Then I had to run into the restroom and got kind of sick.
But then Margi, the chef's assistant brought me some tomatoe juce and some peanut butter toast, and I felt much better.

Can you believe this year is almost over already! Wow. I've been President for a long time. I was really hoping that everything would be over with the war and all by now. Paul said it was going to be better than it has been. Dad warned me to be careful who I listened to, and I probably should have listened to him.

ALSO, I've been getting e-mails from all these Christian sorts who complain that my daughters and I have iPods and Apple computers. Come on, are these really the "liberal" computers. Thats like saying PBR is the "liberal, blue collar beer." I mean, I am one of the most powerful people in the world, so I think I need a powerful music device. Besides, Dick has one too. I bought him a Dixie Chicks album from Apple for a joke. He cracked up. I wonder why he was so coy at our last meeting. We were supposed to be talking about how Rove told Robert (Nowax...he he he..) all about ol'Willy's wife working for the Agency. Funniest part is that no one even realizes that ol' Novak himself works for the Agency, has for years, been on the secret pay roll. Part of the "making sure Americans think what we want them to think" Program.
But Rove didn't show up at the meeting because he was afraid Dick was going to get gruff with him. Dick is worried he is going be taken down, and I say to him, Dick, don't worry, I'm the freaking President. I have this little ol' power called "THE PARDON." But you know Dick. Always such a gruff and worry wort.
This gin tastes so good going down. Isn't it funny when you have to pee sooo bad, but you are also sooo comfortable in your chair that you are actually tempted to just pee a little in your pants to let a little pressure off the valve so you can just stay comfortable. I mean, warm pee is not really that uncomfortable until it starts to cool.
That reminds me of one of my parties we had back at Yale. Those were the days. People make fun of me for being a cheerleader, but that was maybe the high light of my life.